Defeated with a small chance of hope

First I will deliver the bad news... I suck at running. Well crud, that isn't really news.

I went to my run Saturday morning feeling very confident. I left feeling extremely defeated. In my previous run I stayed towards the front and could feel a gap starting so this week I made it a point to stay towards the back of the pack. On one hand I'm glad b/c I really would of been a road block at the front but it made it easier to fall very behind. I made it to about minute 7-9 (already extremely behind everyone else) before I gave up and ended up walking the rest of the trail. I had been thinking that I could attempt the half-marathon in February, but all I want to do now is finish the program. I'm already dreading next week, its a 30 minute run/walk and I can't make it past minute 7!

Now.. for my silver lining. I have asked Chip to become my running partner. During the week I have the motivation to get out there and actually do it, my motivation fails when I have to push through the "hard"part. Its too easy for me to say, I'll walk this block and then I will run.... in other words, excuse, excuse, excuse. I need someone to keep me going, to watch the timer for me so that is not all I am concentrating on. We went out this morning and I'm proud to announce I did the full 22 minutes!! Very slowly, not at all at the speed of my pace group on Saturday mornings... but I did the 22 minutes. I don't want to set my hopes up again, but I don't feel as defeated as I did on Saturday.